UntitledDraft

History

Wednesday, May 28

  • 9
  • 8
  • 7
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

This day only gets a 9 because of watching the minutes morph… Thanks for that. “Don’t push the universe and everything falls into line…” I’ve been paying attention. Thanks again.

Tuesday, May 27

  • 8
  • 8
  • 7
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Lunch, honesty and stuff, a long commute home, a stunning realization (part 1), a mature addendum and explication (part 2), the JV version of the fate game and practice at the pro league, unintentional use of powers for defensive purposes, reconnection, unthreatening awkwardness, sublimity, sleep.

Monday, May 26

  • 8
  • 7
  • 8
  • 5
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Hung out with D. Always a good thing. I do smoke too much at his place, though- got to figure that one out. A little out of it, but everything is sublimely all right. The girl continues to rock my world.

Sunday, May 25

  • 7
  • 9
  • 6
  • 4
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Morale is an average of 9-3-9. I don’t have the right words to describe what all happened today, so I’ll mostly leave it be: Connection was a big theme. A very intense experience that threatened to turn completely sour… More proof that I’m as capable as I fear I am… Delight in closeness…

Saturday, May 24

  • 10
  • 10
  • 9
  • 4
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

“Personal Providence- There is a certain high point in life: once we have reached that, we are, for all our freedom, once more in the greatest danger of spiritual unfreedom, and no matter how much we have faced up to the beautiful chaos of existence and denied it all providential reason and goodness, we still have to pass our hardest test. For it is only now that the idea of a personal providence confronts us with the most penetrating force, and the best advocate, the evidence of our eyes, speaks for it- now that we can see how palpably always everything that happens to us turns out for the best. Every day and every hour, life seems to have no other wish than to prove this proposition again and again. Whatever it is, bad weather or good, the loss of a friend, sickness, slander, the failure of some letter to arrive, the spraining of an ankle, a glance into a shop, a counter-argument, the opening of a book, a dream, a fraud- either immediately or very soon after it proves to be something that “must not be missing”; it has a profound significance and use precisely for US. Is there any more dangerous seduction that might tempt one to renounce one’s faith in the gods of Epicurus who have no care and are unknown, and to believe instead in some petty deity who is full of care and personally knows every little hair on our head and finds nothing nauseous in the most miserable small service? Well, I think that in spite of all this we should leave the gods in peace as well as the genii who are ready to serve us, and rest content with the supposition that our own practical and theoretical skill in interpreting and arranging events has now reached its high point. Nor shall we conceive too high an opinion of our wisdom when at times we are excessively surprised by the wonderful harmony created by the playing of our instrument- a harmony that sounds too good for us to dare to give the credit to ourselves. Indeed, now and then someone plays with us- good old chance; now and then chance guides our hand and the wisest providence could not think up a more beautiful music than that which our foolish hand produces then.”
Nietzsche – The Gay Science, 277

Communing with the past, present, and future. Thank you, S. Thank you, A.

Friday, May 23

  • 8
  • 9
  • 4
  • 2
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Hell yes. Don’t remember much of Friday, but I was coming off the night before so I know it wasn’t bad. I was exhausted, but got a full night of sleep at the end of it.

Thursday, May 22

  • 10
  • 9
  • 4
  • 3
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Oh dear god. I give up, you win. I’m yours.

Tuesday, May 20

  • 9
  • 8
  • 4
  • 3
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

I’m so surprised at how little sleep I can run off of these days… Counting from last week, it’s been one of the most intense low-key weeks I’ve ever had. Great stuff, bring it on world. Memento vivere, bitches.

Monday, May 19

  • 10
  • 9
  • 6
  • 2
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Every conversation was either productive, wonderful, or both… Gratitude was one of the themes of the day.

Sunday, May 18

  • 10
  • 10
  • 8
  • 2
  • 4
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Please forgive me if I act a little strange…

Saturday, May 17

  • 10
  • 9
  • 7
  • 4
  • 4
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Holy shit.

Friday, May 16

  • 10
  • 9
  • 6
  • 2
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Babylon.

Thursday, May 15

  • 6
  • 7
  • 4
  • 4
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Morale of 6 is an average of 8 and 4. Ahmad Jamal was incredible- the guy is a legend and has such a presence live… Also, given that he’s 77, it might have been the last chance I got to see him.

Tired, but happy overall. Surprised by recent events, but grinning nonetheless. Even pain is proof of life- and not merely to be beared.

Monday, May 12

  • 7
  • 9
  • 4
  • 3
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

I woke up energized, despite the short sleep, but got some very bad news at work and had a tense day with my boss. Except for a couple of very (very) good hours, the day was unsettling and exhausting. Morale rating of 7 is the 4 from most of the day averaged with the 10 from the high points. Oy.

Sunday, May 11

  • 10
  • 7
  • 8
  • 2
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

Still recovering from tattoo on ribcage- otherwise, health a 10. Saw El-P, Dizzee Rascal, and Busdriver live… had a fantabulous time. Damn good day. Memento Vivere, bitches!

Saturday, May 10

  • 10
  • 8
  • 8
  • 3
  • Morale
  • Health
  • Sleep
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine

New tattoo, Iron Man, and getting to see a very good friend. Another wonderful day.

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